Like many it has taken me a while to figure out my emotions. I have realised there were 2 key things I needed to do to be able to move forward in a positive way:
- Accept the situation. I am a doer, a fixer. Accepting I am not in control and am unable to currently fix my situation has been hard and taken time.
- There is no ‘normal’ and it is okay to not be okay. Challenging days remind us how wonderful the good days are.
Lockdown has been lifechanging for me and my family as it has for so many others. Our plans for the next few years will not happen the way we planned. Not to say they will never happen, but we will need to find a new way. Thankfully we are well and therefore able to start again and find a new path to where we want to be.
Life is different now and people are realising this at different speeds. Many are yet to accept the changes around them and their personal situation.
Our holiday home business has collapsed, funds from this business used to allow me to do the charity work I do and support so many people. We are unsure the business will get through, but are doing our best to meet customer demands and keep the business going. We are one of the businesses that has ‘fallen through the cracks’ and received no government support. We are doing our best, this may not be good enough for all customers. We can all only do our best and this may have to be good enough. Again, something tough to accept, but necessary in this new world.
Having now accepted the situation I am in a stronger position to support those around me. I can use my energy to help rather than fight something I have no control over.
As we seem to be moving out of Lockdown you may wish to do an exercise I have been doing with my coaching clients and I too have found useful.
What have you loved in Lockdown? Before we know it, we will all be immersed in the ‘new normal’ and lockdown will be a thing of the past. So before then maybe you want to write down the positive things you have learnt, seen, done over the last few weeks when you have had to stop and stay at home.
So here is my COVID-19 gratitude list:
- Long walks and conversations with my teenage sons and husband
- Interesting meals using tins from the back of the cupboard
- Discovering a robin’s nest in an old garden lantern and a jenny wrens’ nest in the shed eaves
- Planting old seeds and being surprised how many have grown – such resilience😊
- Sorting out my ‘art studio’ and upcycling old ceramic tiles into a beautiful mosaic garden table with help from my sons (15 years overdue)
- Going through old film footage of the family – much of which I hadn’t seen before.
- Upcycling the wood store into a new bench for the front garden
- Making ‘tennis rackets’ from a piece of old ply wood to play tennis in the garden.
- Getting to know my new neighbours
- Clapping for carers with the street followed by virtual pub quiz
- Watching loads of films and TV series as a family
- Reading all those books I had been meaning to read
- Time watching the stars – the night skies have been wonderful.
- Daily cycling and exercise without feeling guilty that I should be working
- Found the rhubarb in the garden (after lots of weeding) and made delicious crumble
- Not having to sit in traffic commuting to work.
- Completing the outstanding DIY jobs
- Time to enjoy home, family and nature.
I would have missed most of the above in my old life that was so busy running from one thing to the next. Lockdown has forced so many of us to take time to really reflect and review life.
What positive things have you done during lockdown that you wouldn’t have done otherwise? Write your own list.
Now, thinking ahead, what would you like to continue doing as we move out of Lockdown? Again, write it down as a reminder.
I know some on my list will dwindle but I am determined to make time for many. Lockdown has caused us financial ruin, however it has also given us so much to learn and enjoy, and this is perhaps the greatest experience of all, to stop and really understand what is important to us. For me it is time to spend with loved ones, time to look after my health and wellbeing, time to spend amongst nature.
Even in the darkest and most challenging times there are always positives, it takes resilience and an ability to look at things differently to seem them. I say this to client’s often, I wrote a book about this*. The last few weeks I have taken time to find them and have been tested to my own limits, but it is true. We can learn from every situation and yes there are always positives to be found if we are prepared to look for them. Now the challenge is how to take our learning and what we have loved about lockdown back into our new world……..
*They Said I Was Mad! Think Differently to Succeed.
www.theysaidiwasmad.com
